Well, I might have gotten a bit ahead of myself with the new daycare situation....
We went over for a second visit today, and I brought Jake back with me. I wanted to see how Jake interacted with Miss Daycare Lady and her son, and vice versa.
Yesterday, I thought I smelled a faint odor of cigarettes, not fresh in the air, but I walked in and distinctly thought "Ok, a smoker lives here, keep looking." But she told me she didn't smoke or drink, nor did her husband. (So is she lying?) I figured out today that they are renting and they have only been in this home since June. So it certainly could have been a previous owner who was the smoker, and the scent is just lingering in the carpets or something. (Ok, she's probably not lying.) Not necessarily a deal breaker, but....
Then today, I also found out how old she is, or rather, how young. I thought she looked young, but she is married and has a child, and so she couldn't be *that* young. Well, she's 21. Not that it means anything, but I still think 21 is pretty young. I had figured about 24 or so. Again, not necessarily a deal breaker, but....
So then we were sitting there chatting, and I realize Jake is on my one side (almost completely sitting unassisted now!), and her son is siting on my lap, and she was just sitting there across from the three of us. Wasn't she supposed to be the "baby person"? So why are the kids huddled around me? I realized I was the one interacting with them, not her. She didn't ask to hold Jake, or try to play with him, or try to interact at all. She gave me the old "Oh, he's so cute!" But really, isn't that what everyone says to a baby? I have given out my share of "He's so cutes" at the grocery store and in the pharmacy, but it really means nothing when you get down to it. Every baby is cute. They are just made that way.
Then, there was the dealbreaker. Tell me if I am an overreacting germ-a-phobe here (probably), but I call em as I see em... Her son had a binkie (pacifier, nippie, whatever you all wanna call it) that had fallen to the ground. In one swift motion, she picked up the binkie, stuck it in her own mouth (presumably to clean it off), and popped it back into her son's mouth. I just blinked.
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I think I would have second thoughts about her too. I have seen people do the binky thing, not that big of a deal. I would be more concerned with the lack of "experience". She can barely be used to being a mother herself and I can't believe she could realize how much work having a 10 month old and a 6 month old can be. It would kind of be like having twins, which for a first time, 21 year old mom, would be very difficult.
Keep looking. I am sure you will find a good fit, doesn't look like this is it. Steph's sitter is my friend Barb's daughter. She has a teaching degree, has 2 daughters, one that is in school all day, and watches 2 other little girls, part time and Kyler is part time. The girls are all around 3, so Kyler is the only baby(diapers, bottles, etc) It was a perfect fit.
I think the biggest plus is the "2 kids, one in first grade" That is the "experience" part. Having worked as a teacher is a bonus, but not necessary. I babysat kids for about 6 years....after I had had 3 of my own..."experience".
I agree with you and my mom. I don't know how a 21 year old with one child could know how she can handle both Jake and her own at 6 and 10 months. I know I would have a difficult time, and I'm, um, a bit older than 21. I hear that going from 1 to 2 is really tough, but then after that, 3, 4 etc. is no big deal. It would be nice to find someone who has gone through the second one already. Go with your gut instinct, and if you are unsure, its probably for good reason.
As for the binkie thing, I must admit that I, myself have been guilty of that one.
The more I think about the whole stuation, the more I realize that "the icky binkie issue" is the least of my worries. Talking to a co-worker, I realized this woman had no structured 'plan' for the day. Not that Jake is studying Physics in daycare now, but I would like to know that someone is 'working' with him (which I occasionally see at the current semi-evil daycare).
P.S. - I am sure I have done things much grosser than licking my son's binkie -- but at a job interview?
I agree! Go with your gut! I'd be troubled that she didn't pick him up or even hold her own child for that matter. When we met our sitter she didn't hold Maddy, but Maddy was asleep in her car seat. And I didn't have all the other issues either.
--I've done the pacifier thing too.
Okay
So I have the "social work" background so use some discrimination by my opions biases....ya know child protection can do that to you, but FIND ANOTHER SITTER!
I always say to go with your gut feeling on this one.
You know your son and you want the best possible care....don't make excuses for the girl (young girl). Also, she should make you feel that you could've left him there with her that minute........instead you should have left with her son who seemed to be getting more attention from you and I have issues with the fact that only after meeting you he was already on YOUR lap....call me crazy but it would seem a little "healthier" if her son was a little bit more reluctant to be with you!
Okay enough social worky jibber---find someone else hun!
Good luck! JILL
Just read your post and I am so disappointed to hear that she is not the right one. All of those little things would have been red flags for me, too. I did find the site for that daycare directory in case you don't have it, so hope this helps!
https://www.familyandworkplace.org/families/access.child.intake.asp
Giving a BIG HUG to all of you - thansk so much for your help and advice.
Everyone give three cheers to Kristin Z (who was my roommate from Christiana Hospital - our boys are 1 day apart!) - she is awesome! Thanks so much for the resource!!!!! I am going to spend my entire day at work calling these daycares!!!! :)
Glad I could help, Kelly! :)
Keep us posted!
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